Klutzy

I am a klutz. I am not graceful or poised. I am clumsy and about as uncoordinated as anyone could possibly be. I try really hard to walk without tripping and to cook without hurting myself. I try not to shut my fingers in doors, burn myself on the oven, cut my fingers while I chop veggies or grate my fingers with the cheese. Sadly, I do not always succeed. I often do damage to myself.

More often than not I trip over my own feet or over level ground. Sadly, sometimes my clumsiness results in real injuries. A few years ago, I had a heck of a time with clumsiness. It all started when I was making dinner one day. I was tired and not really wanting to cook, but I was doing it anyway. I had pulled a big, plastic cutting board (not the thin flimsy kind, the heavy thick plastic kind) out. Well, when I pulled it out, I proceeded to drop it... right onto my right foot. It crashed down onto my big toe. I was on the floor in tears. I had never experienced pain like that. My toe immediately turned purple and started to swell.

Popeye was at work so I called him and told him I needed to go to the ER when he got home. We went to the Emergency Room and they did x-rays less than an hour after it happened. The ER doctor said nothing was broken, but to go to my regular doctor in a couple of days if it was not feeling better.  So, a couple of days later when the swelling was still terrible and the pain was no better, I went to my doctor. They did more x-rays and found a fracture right along the joint in my big toe. It was decided that I needed to see a specialist so off I went.

The specialist said the swelling and pain were so bad because every time I walked in a regular shoe I was re-opening the fracture and any healing it had done. They put me in a huge walking boot for 6 weeks. The boot stabilized my foot and kept me from re-breaking my toe each time I walked around.

Well.... Four weeks after breaking my toe, I got my finger squished flat by a heavy metal door. Once again I was in tears and headed for the emergency room again, with my walking boot on still. The people at the ER laughed at me for breaking multiple bones. They put my finger in a splint for 2 weeks. It was so much fun trying to do stuff in a walking boot and with a splint on my finger. It was, of course, a finger I need to do useful things like cut stuff and write.

So for two weeks, I walked around in my walking boot and splint looking like a total klutz. Thankfully, that was the last time I broke bones, although I was reminded of this time when I dropped something on the same toe last week and wound up with a giant bruise and knot, but thankfully no injuries that have required actual medical treatment since the broken finger.

When Doctors Failed Me

In this day and age, we are raised to believe that doctors can and will diagnose and heal us. We are taught that when we are sick you go to the doctor and they can easily figure out what is wrong with you. Then, they prescribe medications to fix the problem and life goes back to normal.

One Day Before Little Bear was Due

As an adult, I learned that this is not always true. My first experience of this side of health care came when I was pregnant. I was newly married and living across the country from my family. The day I found out I was pregnant was also the first day I had “morning sickness.” For me, morning sickness was a lot more than normal people. When I say constant, I mean severe and extreme. The first time I went to the Urgent Care/Emergency Room on base, they asked how many times I had thrown up. I didn’t have an answer for that. I had not been counting. I just knew I was extremely dehydrated. After getting fluids I felt somewhat better, but nausea did not really abate.

Almost 15 weeks pregnant and spending a week in the hospital

The next day, I was sick as a dog again. After my first trip to the hospital, I started counting how many times I threw up each day. I usually gave up somewhere around 80. I made trips to the ER for IV fluids and IV nausea medicine multiple times a week for the first half of pregnancy. The staff recognized me when I walked in the door. My doctor’s appointments always went a little like this….
Doctor: “How are you feeling?”
Me: “Horrible, I am still throwing up all the time and needing IV fluids.”
Doctor: “Eat saltines in the morning before you get up and make homemade chicken soup for dinner.”
Me: “I wish any of those would stay down.”
Unfortunately, it took nearly 14 weeks before I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum which lingered my entire pregnancy.

January 2011 (About the time Gastroparesis Symptoms Began)

My first taste of medicine with a doctor who did not listen or care to find the cause or real answers for my problems was terrifying. It was just a trial run for what I would go through with later medical issues and doctors who did not seem to care about my well being.

The second time that I had this issue was starting in the fall of 2010. I had several stomach bugs that fall and winter and nausea and vomiting never went away. At the time I was going to the doctor on base and their response was always it must be stress or anxiety. It wasn’t. When tests came back normal they sent me to a gastroenterologist, also on base. They did numerous tests as well and found nothing so they continued to think it was stress. When I told them it was not stress, they asked if I had an eating disorder. I knew it was not that either, but they persisted with their stress or eating disorder ideas. After 15 months, moving and getting a whole new team of doctors, I was diagnosed with gastroparesis.   

April 2012 (After diagnosis and new medications for GP)

So what do you do when you are sick and your doctors are not helping you? You push onward. You advocate for yourself. If you cannot advocate for yourself, find a friend or relative that can help you fight. There were days when all I wanted to do was cry because I was tired of being ignored. There were days when I broke down in tears in the ER or the doctor’s office. There were also days when my husband had to be my voice because I was too sick and tired to speak up for myself.  You know your body better than your doctor does. You know how you feel and you know what is normal for you. If I had not kept fighting, I would never have gotten diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum or Gastroparesis. Keep up the fight! Get the answers and the help you need.

Looking good or being sick? Can it be both?

Cleaned up and going to church

You look great! That’s something every woman wants to hear, right? Of course, it is. We all want to look our best. We all want people to see us as beautiful. I love to dress up. I love to look nice. With chronic illness looking great is a double edged sword.  

When I leave the house, I want people to see the good, but I also feel like getting dressed and looking nice is like putting on a mask. Few people know how bad I really feel on a day to day basis. When people see me out and about, they think I must be feeling better and maybe I am even well.

What they don’t see is that I barely dragged myself out of bed that morning or the more likely story, that my husband and son woke me up every 10 or 15 minutes reminding me it is Sunday and they are waiting for me so we can leave for church. I throw on a dress because most of the time a dress does not put pressure on my nauseated and bloated abdomen. (Thanks, gastroparesis.) Then, I put on just enough makeup to cover the bags under my eyes (thanks to chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia) and a touch of blush to cover the ghastly pale hue of my skin. Run the brush through my hair a couple of times and voila, I am walking out the door and usually running only a few minutes late.

On a bad day

On the 15 minute ride, I usually close my eyes and try to get a few more minutes of rest. Then, we get to church and I smile and talk to people and rarely does anyone know I am sick except for the few people who know me well and even those selective few rarely know the extent of how I feel on a daily basis. Then, when I get home from such a simple and relaxing outing as going to church, I lay down and rest for the entire afternoon and evening.

Just a normal day

That double edged sword of looking great and not looking sick can be nice for a couple of reasons. I don’t have to explain how I feel to everyone. I also get compliments that I look good, healthy, etc. Looking presentable also makes me feel a little bit down because few people know how I really feel. What makes it even sadder is that likely I have encountered plenty of people like me out there that I am neglecting because I have no idea they are sick either.  

When Being "Tired" Became More Than Just Tired

I always thought people that complained about “chronic” fatigue were just making a mountain out of a molehill. I thought if they wanted to do stuff they should suck it up and do what needed to be done. I thought fatigue was just tired.

I was so very, very WRONG. Last year, I started doing freelance writing. I loved working from home. And then, I got tired, more than tired. At first, I was just thinking “I must not be getting enough rest,” or “I must be coming down with something.” Then, no matter how much I slept my fatigue just kept getting worse and worse.

My fatigue was so bad that by January, I quit my freelance writing job, quit blogging, and started sleeping a lot. I couldn’t focus to write, I didn’t have the energy to do my housework, and when I woke up every day I was still exhausted. Even now, I usually get 12 hours or more of sleep. I wake up to take Little Bear to the bus stop and then I go back to bed for the morning. I still have no relief from the fatigue.

This fatigue is an overwhelming, unrelenting fatigue. It is a bone weary tired. It has made me so tired I have sat down on the shelves in the grocery store or Wal-Mart. I often get suddenly so physically fatigued I feel sick. Sitting through Sunday School and church often leads to me coming home and spending the afternoon laying on the couch. Yes, even sitting and listening is too much some days. Fatigue like this is not just tired. It cannot be fixed with normal sleep.

I have been to countless doctor’s appointments and specialists. My test results have all come back normal. I have been to my family doctor, neurology, hematology, and rheumatology. Finally, in July I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. My fatigue is worse than my fibromyalgia pain. Thankfully, the majority of my pain is just an all over ache and at the end of the day my joints and muscles feel sore. The worst part is the lack of energy.

In some ways, I am happy to have a diagnosis, but I really wish it was a diagnosis for something they could fix or treat. Until someone researches and finds a treatment I will spend my days rationing energy.

The spoon theory is so much more a part of my life than ever before. I ration those spoons like never before. I get my groceries from a delivery service more often than not. I pay Little Bear to do more chores than before. I plan my chores and my activities so I can save energy for the weekend and enjoy family time without resting all day. I skip church more than ever because I don’t have the energy to get up and sit through Sunday School and the service. I am learning to walk the fine line between overdoing things and doing nothing. Believe me, I often overdo and it often means resting for a couple of days to regain some slight sense of normalcy.

When someone says they are having problems with chronic fatigue syndrome or seeing a doctor for fatigue. Don’t blow them off. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is not just plain tired or even exhaustion. Rest will not fix it and sleep will not cure it.

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August, Gastroparesis, and Botox

It is August. To some that just means the dog days of summer or time for the kids to go back to school. For me it means it is Gastroparesis Awareness Month. Gastroparesis has been a part of my life for nearly 7 years now. As many of you know I spent almost a year and a half with stomach issues that no one could figure out. Finally, in 2011, I was diagnosed with Gastroparesis. My Gastroparesis is idiopathic, meaning they have no idea what caused it.

After my diagnosis, I drastically changed my diet and started medicine that helped immensely. My weight loss finally leveled out and my symptoms were minimal compared to what they had been. I stayed at a fairly nice level for several years. I had nausea every day, but it was a tolerable level. There was no daily vomiting or major weight loss.

Then, this winter all that changed. All of a sudden, for no known reason, my Gastroparesis flared up. My gastroenterologist had no new medications to try since I am already doing all I can do for it in daily life. At this point, I was going to the emergency room every couple of weeks for IV fluids and IV nausea medicine.

My gastroenterologist did offer one thing that I had never tried before… Botox. Yes, you read that right, Botox. The Botox is injected into the pyloric sphincter during an upper endoscopy. I was nervous about this, but my husband and I didn’t know what else to do. We talked and prayed about it for a couple of weeks and then called my doctor to schedule the procedure.

They told me it helps some Gastroparesis patients. I was nervous that I would be one of the ones that it would not help. Thankfully, it helped me more than I could imagine. After about two to three days, my nausea was back to it’s normal levels. I didn’t have to go to the ER again for IV fluids.

Waiting to get called back for my procedure

In the nearly 6 months, I have had minimal symptoms. My nausea is mostly back to its daily tolerable levels. I still take my normal medicines for my Gastroparesis and maintain my low fat, low fiber diet.

The one downside of this procedure is that the effects of the Botox can wear off after six months. I am on month five and I am starting to notice a slight increase in my nausea. I cannot tell yet if it is just the normal cycle of my Gastroparesis symptoms flaring up or if it is the Botox wearing off. For me the Botox procedure has given me much needed symptom relief and I will do it again as needed.

Take a moment and wear green for Gastroparesis this month. Show your support for the many who suffer from this terrible condition.

Real Pants or Not?

I never wore leggings until after I was diagnosed with gastroparesis. Now I love leggings and yoga pants. They are my favorite pants. When eating makes me bloated, not your normal bloated but a painful balloon in my belly kind of bloated, you do what you have to do. Jeans are not an option on those days.


Not wearing jeans every day has been a huge sacrifice for me. I always wear jeans, always have. They are my favorite pants, but when I am bloated they really hurt. I had no choice, but to give in to my bloated belly and find alternatives.

I started with dresses. I love a good dress. However, dresses are not good for working in the yard and garden. They are not good for laying in the hammock. A dress is not always an option. So, you guessed it... I turned to yoga pants and leggings.

If you would have asked my grandma she would say that leggings are not real pants and no one needs to be wearing them out in public. My dad would agree with her. Talking on the phone with my grandma she was always complaining about the old ladies with too much fat wearing leggings. She said no one ever needed to wear pants that tight, old or young, but especially old.

I have learned something. I don't really care that my grandma would cringe if she were here and knew how many times I have walked out my front door and enjoyed the day wearing leggings and a tunic top. Little Bear told me the other day that he was sure my grandma could see me from heaven. This thought made me laugh and laugh. I am sure that as she looks down on me wearing leggings she is ranting about how she cannot believe I would do such a thing and Jesus is telling her it's okay. Pretty sure she would argue with even God about whether or not leggings are acceptable pants. I love my leggings. I love my grandma, but from her seat up in heaven. she will just have to understand that sometimes, leggings is just the best option I have.

I honestly have learned to like leggings. They are extremely comfortable. They are made from a soft and cozy fabric. They fit me well without feeling like a saw blade trying to cut through my abdomen as I swell up after eating. They look really cute with a long shirt and boots. Even if they looked awful, I would probably keep wearing them.

So, it's up to you to decide for yourself, are leggings real pants or not? In my book, leggings are real pants.

VitalSox Compression Socks

I ordered these VitalSox compression socks because I have been having issues with low blood pressure and getting dizzy when I stand up. I ordered the pink ones because I figured if I had to wear them at least I could have colorful fun ones. 

I was not expecting to actually like these compression socks. I had tried various cheap brands from our local stores and hated them because they did nothing and were not comfortable. I expected to find them to be really tight or too loose to help, and overall uncomfortable, like other types I have tried. They are actually extremely comfortable. They are not as tight as I expected them to be, but they are tighter than normal knee socks.

These socks are a pain to put on at first. Once you get the hang of it, it becomes fairly easy. To put these socks on you turn them inside out down to the heel, pulling the upper part down over the toe of the socks. Then, you put your foot in all the way up to the heel and turn them right side out as you pull them up your leg. They are made from a pretty stretchy material. The fabric is thicker than it looks. It is also stiffer than normal socks.

I wear a women’s size 10 shoe. I ordered these socks in a medium. They fit my feet wonderfully. I am about 5’6.5” tall and weigh about 135 pounds. My legs are not skinny. These socks are tight around them, but not cut off circulation tight or leave uncomfortable marks kind of tight. They pull up to the bottoms of my knees.

These socks are fantastic. They help my legs not feel so sore after things like yard work and other physical labor. They also help me not feel dizzy so often upon standing up. I recommend these socks to anyone who needs compression socks for medical reasons or for exercise recovery. These socks are honestly more comfortable than any of my regular socks.

You can buy these compression socks here. 

I received this product free. All opinions expressed here are honest, unbiased, and 100% my own. 

10 Gift Ideas for Herb Lovers

We all know someone or are someone that people could call crunchy or hippie. (I really hate those terms, especially since I can sort of fall into those categories) I mean someone that loves whole foods, herbal and natural remedies. I love herbs, home remedies, aromatherapy, and homemade beauty products. I know my husband can find that my hobbies make it hard to shop for me so here are 10 great ideas.

1) Rosemary Gladstar's Herbal Recipes for Vibrant Health 

This book by Rosemary Gladstar is one of my favorite herb books. It has recipes for everything. The information in this book gives you a wealth of knowledge that can be carried into so many other applications. This book has recipes for more than you can imagine. It has recipes for adults and children both. You can buy this book here for under $15. 

2) Aromatherapy for Vibrant Health by Roberta Wilson

This book by Roberta Wilson is a great book for aromatherapy. It has recipes for a plethora of issues from A to Z. It is laid out in an easy to follow format. This is one of my go-to books for essential oils. There is a newer edition of this book, but this one is typically the one I grab first. If used books are okay with the person you are shopping for buying this book used is a very inexpensive and useful gift.
You can buy this book here for under $15 new and under $5 used.

3) Essential Oils and Blends 

Essential oils are essential for many home remedies. They can be diluted and used topically, used in baths, and used in an aromatherapy diffuser. They can also be added to soaps and other beauty products. Lots of people have favorites. Some of my favorites are Plant Therapy's KidSafe line. Their Germ Destroyer blend is used all the time in my home. It has helped us survive cold and flu season, mostly unscathed, the last couple of years.  I also love lavender and tea tree because these oils have many uses in the home. 

You can buy Plant Therapy Essential Oils here. Prices are from $6.95 and up depending on the essential oil and the size. 

4) Aromatherapy Diffusers

An aromatherapy diffuser is a great gift. They are easy to use. You add water, a few drops of essential oils and they are ready to go. A good diffuser can run for around eight hours. Most aromatherapy diffusers are ultrasonic cool mist diffusers. You may not always smell the essential oils in the air but that does not mean they are not working. The essential oils healing properties will be dispersed in the air whether or not you can smell them.  Many aromatherapy diffusers have colored LED lights and different mist settings.
You can buy a diffuser here for under $20. 

5) Stainless Steel Aromatherapy Diffuser Necklace 

Stainless Steel aromatherapy diffuser necklaces are both beautiful and beneficial to your health. The necklaces come with felt pads. You place 1-3 drops of your favorite essential oil on the necklace then put it on. You can put calming essential oils like lavender or germ fighting blends. The possibilities are endless. This gift of jewelry is a great idea to bring beauty and aromatherapy together. 

You can find a stunning diffuser necklace here for under $10. 

6) Elderberries

Elderberries are a great addition to any herbalist's pantry. They are great to make elderberry syrup and other cold and flu remedies with. Elderberry syrup is an easy thing to make. Elderberry syrup can then be added to other recipes to make elderberry gummies, cough syrup, and more. Elderberries can also be a great ingredient in herbal teas to help the immune system. 

You can buy elderberries here from $2.50 and up.  

7) Calendula Flowers

Calendula is an excellent herb for bruises, sunburns, eczema, and many other skin problems. The dried calendula flowers can be infused in oil. The oil can later be used in salves, lotions, and more. The dried flowers can be used as an addition to soaps and bath teas. 

You can buy dried calendula flowers here.  

8) Beeswax Pastilles 

Beeswax is an essential ingredient in many herbal preparations. It is used in soaps, lotions, salves, lip balms, and more. Beeswax can be found in large blocks and in pastilles. These little pastilles are much easier to use than the blocks of beeswax, which are difficult to cut or grate. 

You can buy beeswax pastilles here for $17 and up.  

9) Amber Roller Bottles

Good roller bottles are essential for making many topical essential oil preparations. These roller bottles need to be a dark color such as amber. This keeps your essential oils from going bad quickly. A clear bottle can ruin the integrity of your essential oils. 

You can buy amber roller bottles here for around $10. 

10) Dropper Bottles

Another important bottle aromatherapy tool is good dropper bottles. They also need to be dark colors. They work perfectly for blending your own essential oils. The droppers make it perfect for dropping into carrier oils or diffusers. 
You can buy a 6 pack of dropper bottles here for around $10. 

 

Echinacea - Beautiful and Useful

Echinacea, specifically echinacea purpurea, is a wonderful healing herb. It is also great for cold and flu season. One of the best things about echinacea is that it is easy to grow and can be grown across much of the country as a perennial. This plant is not only useful, but a beautiful plant to grow in your garden or flower beds.

Echinacea is a purple coneflower native to the United States. Plains Indians used this plant for all kinds of things, such as snake bites, fevers, and many kinds of wounds. Today it is used for fevers, wound care, respiratory infections, colds, flu, and arthritis, among other things.

Growing & Harvesting

Echinacea can be grown from seed or from a plant bought in a nursery. I have grown echinacea both ways. Seeds should be planted in early autumn. In 2014, I planted echinacea seeds. For weeks they did nothing, not a sprout in sight so I bought two plants from our local nursery.

2 year old plant from a nursery and a seedling 1 year old

A few days after I planted my new plants I saw several seedlings sprout. These seedlings grew extremely slowly the first year. The second year they took off. I also have lots of new plants sprouting up around the plants I bought from the flowers I did not cut back. I now have quite a crop of echinacea. Each winter echinacea will die back completely so do not be dismayed if your plant disappears during the winter.

Echinacea roots, leaves, and flowers can be harvested for use.  They can be used in teas and tinctures. It can also be used in poultices as well as infused in oil and added to salves. The roots of the plants can be used dry without any other preparations. Native Americans chewed the roots for coughs and sore throats.

Harvesting echinacea leaves and flowers can be done when the flowers are just beginning to open. These flowers and leaves can be clipped off the plant and dried on screens or in a dehydrator. If you are planning to let your plant continue growing for another year do not cut all of the leaves off.

Self-sprouted Echinacea about 6 months old

To harvest echinacea carefully dig up the plant after the first frost of the year. If you are replanting your plant only clip some of the roots. For home use, I only harvest a little of my plant's roots each year. After harvesting, place your roots on screens and dry in the sun. You can also dry on a low heat in a dehydrator. Make sure the roots are completely dry before storing. If they are not they can grow bacteria and fungus. Store your dried plant parts in a cool dry place until you are ready to use them.

Tinctures & Teas

To use your dried or fresh echinacea you can put it in high proof alcohol. You use one part plant and one part alcohol. Place this in a jar and shake it up. Then, set it in the sun for two weeks. Make sure to shake your tincture daily. After two weeks you can strain your tincture and store in a clean jar in a dark place. To use the tincture take about 20 drops in half a cup of warm water. This can be taken 2-4 times daily while symptoms persist.

To make teas with echinacea root use about half of a teaspoon of dried echinacea steeped in a cup of hot water. Let it steep 10-15 minutes. You can add ginger, lemongrass, and other healing herbs to taste in this tea. Honey makes a great sweetener and flavor enhancer as well.

Echinacea is a beautiful flowering herb that everyone should have in their garden. It will bring bees and butterflies to your garden. It can also help with colds, coughs, the flu, and many other ailments. The easiest ways to use your own echinacea are in teas and tinctures.

Echinacea in full bloom

Sources: 

ECHINACEA Echinacea purpurea. (n.d.). Retrieved October 27, 2016, from http://www.blessedmaineherbs.com/ececpu.html

H. (2015). How to Grow Echinacea (Coneflower) | Planet Natural. Retrieved October 27, 2016, from https://www.planetnatural.com/growing-echinacea/  

How to Harvest Echinacea for Tea. (n.d.). Retrieved October 27, 2016, from http://homeguides.sfgate.com/harvest-echinacea-tea-73456.html 

Loveplantlife, B. (2012). Echinacea: How to grow and use this powerful antibiotic and immune-stimulant. Retrieved October 27, 2016, from http://loveplantlife.com/2012/02/echinacea-how-to-grow-and-use-this-powerful-antibiotic-and-immune-stimulant/ 

  

Vintage Summer Hat

My Normal Casual Hat

A few years ago I started getting migraines and migraine-associated vertigo. They are often triggered by fluorescent lights. At home we switched over to all LED lights from fluorescent and CFL. It has helped a lot in the amount of migraines I have at home.

That still left me with the problem of migraines when we would go out places. Shopping, church, friend's houses, and other places all have fluorescent lights. I would regularly start feeling a headache or vertigo coming on when we were away from home.

My mom also has migraines that are triggered by fluorescent lights. She told me that wearing a hat helps her. This is great for her because she truly likes hats. I however have always hated wearing hats. It has been a huge adjustment for me.

I often wear baseball hats and other really casual hats. Sometimes I wear my cowboy hat. At church I always feel like I should wear a nicer hat. Especially when I am all dressed up, wearing a casual hat seems goofy.

I found this hat from IL Caldo. This vintage style hat is so cute. I wear a lot of vintage dresses so this is the perfect hat for me. I got the grey hat. It has a silvery grey satin ribbon around it with a ribbon flower on the side. There is a little accent of a black polka dotted fabric that gives it just enough black to break up the grey. The hat also comes in black, red, and coffee.

This hat is lightweight and perfect for summer. Since I live in the South a nice light hat is great for most of the year.

The hat is a little bit too big for me, but one size hats always are. I have a small head compared to many women. I use a hat tape that fits in the brim of my hat to make it fit correctly. If you have an average sized head you will probably be fine in this hat.

I love the way this hat looks and feels. When I sent my mom a picture she asked if I bought it for her. I got a bunch of compliments when I wore it to church.

You can buy the IL Caldo Vintage Hat here. You can buy hat filler tape here.

I received a discount on this product. All opinions are 100% my own.