Klutzy

I am a klutz. I am not graceful or poised. I am clumsy and about as uncoordinated as anyone could possibly be. I try really hard to walk without tripping and to cook without hurting myself. I try not to shut my fingers in doors, burn myself on the oven, cut my fingers while I chop veggies or grate my fingers with the cheese. Sadly, I do not always succeed. I often do damage to myself.

More often than not I trip over my own feet or over level ground. Sadly, sometimes my clumsiness results in real injuries. A few years ago, I had a heck of a time with clumsiness. It all started when I was making dinner one day. I was tired and not really wanting to cook, but I was doing it anyway. I had pulled a big, plastic cutting board (not the thin flimsy kind, the heavy thick plastic kind) out. Well, when I pulled it out, I proceeded to drop it... right onto my right foot. It crashed down onto my big toe. I was on the floor in tears. I had never experienced pain like that. My toe immediately turned purple and started to swell.

Popeye was at work so I called him and told him I needed to go to the ER when he got home. We went to the Emergency Room and they did x-rays less than an hour after it happened. The ER doctor said nothing was broken, but to go to my regular doctor in a couple of days if it was not feeling better.  So, a couple of days later when the swelling was still terrible and the pain was no better, I went to my doctor. They did more x-rays and found a fracture right along the joint in my big toe. It was decided that I needed to see a specialist so off I went.

The specialist said the swelling and pain were so bad because every time I walked in a regular shoe I was re-opening the fracture and any healing it had done. They put me in a huge walking boot for 6 weeks. The boot stabilized my foot and kept me from re-breaking my toe each time I walked around.

Well.... Four weeks after breaking my toe, I got my finger squished flat by a heavy metal door. Once again I was in tears and headed for the emergency room again, with my walking boot on still. The people at the ER laughed at me for breaking multiple bones. They put my finger in a splint for 2 weeks. It was so much fun trying to do stuff in a walking boot and with a splint on my finger. It was, of course, a finger I need to do useful things like cut stuff and write.

So for two weeks, I walked around in my walking boot and splint looking like a total klutz. Thankfully, that was the last time I broke bones, although I was reminded of this time when I dropped something on the same toe last week and wound up with a giant bruise and knot, but thankfully no injuries that have required actual medical treatment since the broken finger.