To Everything There is a Season

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which has been planted;

Ecclesiastes 3: 3-2 

It has been one year since my grandma left this world. When she left this world she went home and has spent the last year in heavenly bliss. She is with Jesus and my grandpa. I am torn between joy for her eternal happiness and sadness for my own loss.

I won't deny that this year has been difficult. I still have moments when I pick up the phone and realize as soon as I do that I cannot call her. It seems silly and a little crazy. It's not like I have forgotten she is gone, it is just habit, I suppose. After years of calling her almost weekly, it seems strange to have gone for one year without hearing her voice.

The hardest times have been around the holidays and around special family days. Then, there are the days when Little Bear and I went home and we normally would have visited, but instead we drove straight through the town she lived in. My heart broke again as we drove through without a reason to stop.

My grandma was a special lady. She adored me... and I don't really know why. I was always a smart aleck and sarcastic. I enjoyed her even when I thought she was a little nutty or a little mean. We had moments that we argued, but that never kept us from loving each other.

My grandma loved her family, but sometimes I don't think she knew how to show it. She was often harsh with all of us. She said hurtful things and meant them. It was her own style of blunt honesty. I often have wondered where I got that quality, but now I know.

The thing I admired most about my grandma is her faith. I don't remember her talking about her faith too much as a kid. As an adult, she frequently told me about God and how he blessed her. She loved him. She had a great faith and that faith filled her with peace, especially near the end.

I pray that my faith will blossom and grow as her's did. I pray when my time comes I can be at peace with my life and ready to join my Savior in heaven. In the meantime, I will read His Word and draw peace and hope from the Bible and the example of those who have gone before me.