In Honor of My Mom's Birthday - A Funny Story

In honor of my mom's million and third birthday (she is really not very old, I just love to pick on her), I am going to share one of my favorite stories. I am sure she would rather me share about the time we went to Alaska and flew in a helicopter to land on a glacier, but that is not my story for today.

A long time ago, when I was in high school, we went to North Carolina. It was a sort of last minute trip. My dad was going for business and had been gone an awful lot so he took the family with him. While he worked, my mom, my brother, and I went to see the sights.

One of our trips was to some kind of zoo or animal refuge. It was a small place that took in retired circus animals and animals that had once been pets. They had a lot of bears, monkeys, and apes. When you paid you could get food to feed the animals. They didn't come up and take the food from your hand, you kind of had to throw it into the cage.

We walked up to a cage of some type of monkeys. It has been a long time and in my old age, I cannot remember what type they were. We stood there and fed them for a while.... and then, my mom got tired of feeding them. When she quit one of the monkeys was not happy with that and he spit.... Right on her.

My brother and I found this to be the funniest thing ever and were laughing hysterically. My mom threw him another piece of food and then started to turn away. When she did he spit again and hit his mark. And let me tell you something about monkey spit, it is not as much like people spit as you would think. It is horribly stinky, it is slimier, and it has visible particles of monkey food in it, and I won't lie, all of those things made it seem even funnier that my dear mother got spit on by a monkey and not just once. Sometimes I wish it was in the days of cell phones so we could have taken a video to save forever. It always makes me laugh. Since it was long before those days, I will just share the story for all to read.

Happy birthday, Mom! Hope you have a glorious day and do not get spit on by monkeys!

STEM vs Liberal Arts... or Little Bear vs Mama Bear

STEM - Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math....

STEM is the in thing for education these days. All we hear about is STEM this STEM that. Little Bear's elementary school is always posting pictures of STEM projects on Facebook. I see the Chevron STEM for girls commercial on TV all the time. I get that science, technology, engineering, and math are cool, or hard, or something... but what about the arts.

Little Bear loves STEM. He has loved it before I heard the term STEM. Before elementary school, he was already looking at how things work and why. He was noticing the difference between the way a rocking chair moved and the way the footstool moved. He was building with Legos and creating new things. He was building with Legos and following the instructions on his own at an early age. He has always loved building and creating new projects and simple machines.

In school Little Bear loves coding. His gifted and talented teacher says he is a whiz at it. His favorite subject is math. He enjoys his math homework. When he picks up a book, he often picks up a non-fiction book about science or technology before he chooses a fiction book.

I am proud of him for having interests and for doing well at the things he loves, but it breaks my heart a little to see the focus of school turning more and more towards STEM and away from literature and history. I have a bachelor's degree in history. I am a freelance writer, a stay-at-home-mom, and a blogger.


My child has no interest in writing and little interest in history or literature. Don't get me wrong, Little Bear loves a good story and even a good non-fiction book from time to time, but his first choice is almost always non-fiction. He wants to learn things not be transported through words to a magical place with wizards and elves, knights in shining armor, or monsters under the bed. He doesn't get wrapped up in a story like I do. He doesn't feel like the characters in his favorite books are friends or long lost family members.

STEM is great. I am thrilled my son enjoys it and I pray he will always be better at math than I am. (I'm terrible at math, truly terrible.) I really wish there was more focus on literature, fiction, imagination, arts, and history in his school and in our modern world. I feel like the arts are being lost in our STEM-focused society.

Looking good or being sick? Can it be both?

Cleaned up and going to church

You look great! That’s something every woman wants to hear, right? Of course, it is. We all want to look our best. We all want people to see us as beautiful. I love to dress up. I love to look nice. With chronic illness looking great is a double edged sword.  

When I leave the house, I want people to see the good, but I also feel like getting dressed and looking nice is like putting on a mask. Few people know how bad I really feel on a day to day basis. When people see me out and about, they think I must be feeling better and maybe I am even well.

What they don’t see is that I barely dragged myself out of bed that morning or the more likely story, that my husband and son woke me up every 10 or 15 minutes reminding me it is Sunday and they are waiting for me so we can leave for church. I throw on a dress because most of the time a dress does not put pressure on my nauseated and bloated abdomen. (Thanks, gastroparesis.) Then, I put on just enough makeup to cover the bags under my eyes (thanks to chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia) and a touch of blush to cover the ghastly pale hue of my skin. Run the brush through my hair a couple of times and voila, I am walking out the door and usually running only a few minutes late.

On a bad day

On the 15 minute ride, I usually close my eyes and try to get a few more minutes of rest. Then, we get to church and I smile and talk to people and rarely does anyone know I am sick except for the few people who know me well and even those selective few rarely know the extent of how I feel on a daily basis. Then, when I get home from such a simple and relaxing outing as going to church, I lay down and rest for the entire afternoon and evening.

Just a normal day

That double edged sword of looking great and not looking sick can be nice for a couple of reasons. I don’t have to explain how I feel to everyone. I also get compliments that I look good, healthy, etc. Looking presentable also makes me feel a little bit down because few people know how I really feel. What makes it even sadder is that likely I have encountered plenty of people like me out there that I am neglecting because I have no idea they are sick either.  

When Being "Tired" Became More Than Just Tired

I always thought people that complained about “chronic” fatigue were just making a mountain out of a molehill. I thought if they wanted to do stuff they should suck it up and do what needed to be done. I thought fatigue was just tired.

I was so very, very WRONG. Last year, I started doing freelance writing. I loved working from home. And then, I got tired, more than tired. At first, I was just thinking “I must not be getting enough rest,” or “I must be coming down with something.” Then, no matter how much I slept my fatigue just kept getting worse and worse.

My fatigue was so bad that by January, I quit my freelance writing job, quit blogging, and started sleeping a lot. I couldn’t focus to write, I didn’t have the energy to do my housework, and when I woke up every day I was still exhausted. Even now, I usually get 12 hours or more of sleep. I wake up to take Little Bear to the bus stop and then I go back to bed for the morning. I still have no relief from the fatigue.

This fatigue is an overwhelming, unrelenting fatigue. It is a bone weary tired. It has made me so tired I have sat down on the shelves in the grocery store or Wal-Mart. I often get suddenly so physically fatigued I feel sick. Sitting through Sunday School and church often leads to me coming home and spending the afternoon laying on the couch. Yes, even sitting and listening is too much some days. Fatigue like this is not just tired. It cannot be fixed with normal sleep.

I have been to countless doctor’s appointments and specialists. My test results have all come back normal. I have been to my family doctor, neurology, hematology, and rheumatology. Finally, in July I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. My fatigue is worse than my fibromyalgia pain. Thankfully, the majority of my pain is just an all over ache and at the end of the day my joints and muscles feel sore. The worst part is the lack of energy.

In some ways, I am happy to have a diagnosis, but I really wish it was a diagnosis for something they could fix or treat. Until someone researches and finds a treatment I will spend my days rationing energy.

The spoon theory is so much more a part of my life than ever before. I ration those spoons like never before. I get my groceries from a delivery service more often than not. I pay Little Bear to do more chores than before. I plan my chores and my activities so I can save energy for the weekend and enjoy family time without resting all day. I skip church more than ever because I don’t have the energy to get up and sit through Sunday School and the service. I am learning to walk the fine line between overdoing things and doing nothing. Believe me, I often overdo and it often means resting for a couple of days to regain some slight sense of normalcy.

When someone says they are having problems with chronic fatigue syndrome or seeing a doctor for fatigue. Don’t blow them off. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is not just plain tired or even exhaustion. Rest will not fix it and sleep will not cure it.

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Five Free and Cheap Places to Go in Northeast Florida

1.) Big Talbot Island State Park

Big Talbot Island State Park is a stunning park. It has beautiful hiking trails and also has stunning beaches. Much of the beach is covered by tree “graveyards”. These long dead trees have fallen on the beach making a hauntingly beautiful scenery. When we arrived at the park on a late morning the fog was an almost eerie sight. We walked for a while down the beach and climbed on the dead trees. We also found whelks, crustaceans, jellyfish, birds, and horseshoe crab skeletons.

Admission to the park is $3 per vehicle for day use. You can find more information on Big Talbot Island State Park here.   

2.) Castillo de San Marcos National Monument

Castillo de San Marcos National Monument is found in Saint Augustine. This fort was built between 1672 and 1695. It was built by the Spanish and later used by the British, the United States, and the Confederate States. It is made of coquina that was found on Anastasia Island. The fort is now run by the National Park Service and regularly has re-enactments with cannons and muskets. The fort also provides incredible views of the water and boats coming and going through the channel.

Admission to the park is $10 per adult and free for children 15 and under. More information about Castillo de San Marcos can be found here.

3.) Camp Blanding Museum and Memorial Park

Camp Blanding Museum and Memorial Park is just a little ways south of Jacksonville, Florida. Camp Blanding is a military reservation and training base for the Florida National Guard. Just outside of the base gates you can find the museum and memorial park. Inside the museum is an array of exhibits from World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and Korea. At one time this base served as a training station for the United States Army as well as a prisoner of war camp. The stories you can read in the museum are enlightening. Outside you can find many aircraft and army vehicles dating from World War I all the way to Desert Storm. The museum is run by volunteers, mostly veterans who have been stationed or trained here.

Admission is free, but they do accept donations. You can find more information about Camp Blanding Museum and Memorial Park here.

4.) Riverside Arts Market

Riverside Arts Market is a weekly event held on Saturdays from 10 am - 3 pm. This weekly event is a gathering of local artists, farmers, restaurants, and musicians. There are food trucks and booths galore. The artists sell paintings, photographs, signs, jewelry, and so much more. The farmers sell local and seasonal produce, honey, baked goods, and eggs. Each week there are different musicians. There are also themed markets geared towards different types of music, cultural groups, pets, and more. The market is pet-friendly and fun for the whole family. It is under a bridge along the river so the scenery is nice.

Admission to the market is free. Parking is somewhat difficult and you may have to walk a little ways to get to the market. You can find more information about the Riverside Arts Market, including booths and farmers, here.

5.) Guana Tolomato Matanzas National Estuarine Research Reserve Beach Access Points

I love the beach. There are a couple of things I look for when I look for a good beach. First, I want to go somewhere that is pretty clean. Second, I want to go somewhere that the water does not get too deep too quickly. Third, I want to go somewhere with a decent amount of shells and hopefully shark’s teeth. The beaches that have access from the Guana Tolomato Matanzas National Estuarine Research Reserve have been among my favorite. These beach access points are between Jacksonville and Saint Augustine along A1A. They are not too crowded and I always find several shark’s teeth as well as a variety of shells.

Admission to these beaches is free. You can find more information about these beaches and the reserve here.

August, Gastroparesis, and Botox

It is August. To some that just means the dog days of summer or time for the kids to go back to school. For me it means it is Gastroparesis Awareness Month. Gastroparesis has been a part of my life for nearly 7 years now. As many of you know I spent almost a year and a half with stomach issues that no one could figure out. Finally, in 2011, I was diagnosed with Gastroparesis. My Gastroparesis is idiopathic, meaning they have no idea what caused it.

After my diagnosis, I drastically changed my diet and started medicine that helped immensely. My weight loss finally leveled out and my symptoms were minimal compared to what they had been. I stayed at a fairly nice level for several years. I had nausea every day, but it was a tolerable level. There was no daily vomiting or major weight loss.

Then, this winter all that changed. All of a sudden, for no known reason, my Gastroparesis flared up. My gastroenterologist had no new medications to try since I am already doing all I can do for it in daily life. At this point, I was going to the emergency room every couple of weeks for IV fluids and IV nausea medicine.

My gastroenterologist did offer one thing that I had never tried before… Botox. Yes, you read that right, Botox. The Botox is injected into the pyloric sphincter during an upper endoscopy. I was nervous about this, but my husband and I didn’t know what else to do. We talked and prayed about it for a couple of weeks and then called my doctor to schedule the procedure.

They told me it helps some Gastroparesis patients. I was nervous that I would be one of the ones that it would not help. Thankfully, it helped me more than I could imagine. After about two to three days, my nausea was back to it’s normal levels. I didn’t have to go to the ER again for IV fluids.

Waiting to get called back for my procedure

In the nearly 6 months, I have had minimal symptoms. My nausea is mostly back to its daily tolerable levels. I still take my normal medicines for my Gastroparesis and maintain my low fat, low fiber diet.

The one downside of this procedure is that the effects of the Botox can wear off after six months. I am on month five and I am starting to notice a slight increase in my nausea. I cannot tell yet if it is just the normal cycle of my Gastroparesis symptoms flaring up or if it is the Botox wearing off. For me the Botox procedure has given me much needed symptom relief and I will do it again as needed.

Take a moment and wear green for Gastroparesis this month. Show your support for the many who suffer from this terrible condition.