Why Can't We Be Friends?

I have always loved going to zoos and wildlife parks. I love to look at the animals. My problem is that it does not seem like animals like me. I have been bitten and attacked by all sorts of animals.

The first occurrence of my bad luck came when I was about five years old. We were at Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch, which is a drive through wildlife park where you can feed the animals. When you enter the park they tell you that feeding the animals is at your own risk. They also tell you to drop the food onto the ground and do not feed the animals out of your hands. Well, I was feeding the animals out of my hands and it was all going great until we got to the zebras. In case you never knew, zebras bite, often, and one bit me right in the palm of my hand. To this day I am still frightened of zebras and their giant faces and teeth.

My fear of zebras is nothing compared to my fear of cheetahs. Most people probably think this is nuts, but I have a legitimate reason for my terror. We were visiting the zoo when I was around eight years old. I vividly remember that I was wearing a bright yellow shirt that day. The cheetahs enclosure could be seen from above as well as from a window at ground level. My family had walked down the stairs and was looking at the cheetah that was laying down a long way from the window and I had stopped at the top of the stairs to look at another animal. They had been watching it for a while when I walked down the stairs. When I reached the window the cheetah had seen me and run all the way across the enclosure and slammed into the glass window right where I was standing. I am pretty sure I cried or screamed or both. To this day I do not wear yellow shirts. I have bought yellow shirts a couple of times only to wear them and remember the cheetah. Those yellow shirts quickly got donated to the Salvation Army.

Then, there were several times I got bit by birds. Birds are mean and they hurt. Landa Park always has ducks and geese that people feed. When we would go to the park we occasionally fed them. The bad part comes when you quit feeding the geese or when they think you should start feeding them. They chase you down and will bite you. You may think getting bit by a goose is not painful, but it does not feel good. My other most hated bird is some kind of crowned something or another from Africa. I got bit by this bird at the zoo and it really, hurts. I won't lie and say that this was the birds fault. I was a dumb child who did not listen to my parents or obey the signs that told me not to put my fingers in the cages. So, I put my childish fingers in the cage to touch the beautiful crowned bird and instead of touching fluffy feathers, I got bit in the finger by a sharp beak.

The last bad animal encounter comes from my adult life. Let me just say I did not really learn my lesson from my past animal encounters. When I was pregnant with Little Bear, we went on a trip to Texas and went to Fossil Rim, another drive through wildlife place. I was feeding the addax and when I quit feeding one of them it made him angry. He somehow managed to get part of his horns IN THE CAR and was bashing me in the head with his horns and the top of his head. It was scary and painful. When he whacked me in the head, Popeye said I had a strange and confused look on my face. He asked if I was okay and I responded with something like, "Yeah, I guess so."  I was yelling at Popeye to "Go, Go" and he said something along the lines of "I can't his head is in the car," as I got whacked in the head again. I kept yelling and finally Popeye started driving. What felt like a long time later with a combination of Popeye driving and me shoving the mean antelope away we got away and I was safe again.

Since then, I really try to be more careful with wildlife. I have successfully taken Little Bear to a drive through wildlife ranch without any injuries. I don't stick my fingers through cages now. I don't feed birds. I roll the windows up when we get close to zebras. I don't wear yellow shirts. I hope my awful animal encounters are over.